The Essential Nursing Home Checklist: What I Wish I Knew Before Choosing Dad’s Care
- Christopher Zambakari
- Aug 4
- 4 min read
Dr. Christopher Zambakari, B.S., MBA, M.I.S., LP.D.
Owner/Operator; Desert Haven Home Care, Apollo Residential Assisted Living, Villa Fiore Assisted Living-Prescott Valley
Under a single home care umbrella, Desert Haven Home Care, Apollo Residential Assisted Living, and Villa Fiore Assisted Living-Prescott feature unparalleled care, feature unparalleled care, service and advocacy in the compassionate treatment of senior citizens in need of medical attention. Offered in a familial setting, the facilities are teamed by professionals passionate about their work and fully engaged in the welfare of residents. Each facility proudly provides patient-centric supervisory, assisted and directed care, short-term respite stays and memory care support for Alzheimer’s and dementia patients.
Making the decision to transition a loved one into an assisted living complex or senior care residence is a physical and emotional journey, fraught with surprises, unmet expectations, and, often confusion. Such was the case for my father and me recently.
Our shared adventure taught me that a nursing home checklist goes beyond comparing facilities. Understanding your rights and responsibilities, and managing the turmoil, is crucial to the smoothest possible transition.
Let’s get into it. Below are some of the guideposts to consider as you make the decision to transition a loved one.
The hidden emotional journey of choosing care
Family and caregivers often struggle with complex emotions when they move a loved one to a senior care setting. Practical decisions mask a deep emotional trip. Family members often can feel powerless, frustrated, like they’ve failed. As humans, it is our engrained belief we must shield our aging parents from pain and discomfort. It is a role reversal like no other when we are faced with decisions that, for all concerned, are mostly life-changing. Guilt hits hardest when we ask ourselves what more could have been done.
Effective communication is key throughout the transition process. Sadly, many families skip the important talks—they can be wrenching, they get put off, they can reveal our own weaknesses. Often, feelings of frustration and emotional exhaustion are heightened as a loved one’s changing personality and declining health become front-and-center issues. It is important to face these changing emotions instead of pushing them below the surface. Talking about transition experiences helps, and may present first-time opportunities to “let it out.” Family healthcare talks provide an arena of openness—how the journey unfolds differently for each member, often bringing families closer together.
It’s not unnatural to feel conflicted and guilty—you’re not alone. Honest, open talks with your senior care candidate include listening with empathy. Remember, the “unknown” produces fear and anxiety that might need prompting to discuss in meaningful ways.
Talking about transition experiences helps, and may present first-time opportunities to “let it out.” Family healthcare talks provide an arena of openness—how the journey unfolds differently for each member, often bringing families closer together.
Essential quality indicators to evaluate
It begins with staff; the quality of the care team must be a vital factor in your choice of care. Customized care sounds automatic, but many residences and larger facilities struggle with bloated patient-to-staff ratios; not the ideal you seek. Consider staff retention history; high turnover rates often point to problems with care quality.
As important as positive interaction between care home staff and patient, the interaction between members of family and patient can make a positive difference in progress, comfort and even outcomes. Don’t let ill-perceived power dynamics, communication gaps, and unclear roles sidetrack you from the task at hand.
As you consider what to look for from a senior care setting, be certain “amenities” such as tailored activities and social calendars are available and creative. Inquire as to flexibility in daily routines, including wake-up and meal times. Look for the availability of private visiting spaces and outdoor areas.
Dining services deserve careful attention. Beyond simple meal options, assess the “extras.” Are snacks routinely available away from regular meal times (are snacks and drinks from outside allowed in your loved one’s personal living space?); is the facility—large or small—able to accommodate special dietary needs? Many residents may need assistance with eating and/or drinking; make sure staff is prepared to offer such help.
Staff-resident interactions tell the real story. The way staff communicate with residents, respond to calls, and carry themselves are a great way to get insights into care quality. The staff’s attitude and the atmosphere they create are among the most revealing indicators.
Making the final decision
Research and evaluation lead to the crucial final choice.
Talking with residents can be enlightening. Conversations reveal different perspectives in many areas—quality levels across the facility, decision-making processes, cleanliness, and atmosphere. In fact, learning about the role a patient/resident might play in decision-making, and their preferences, shaped many a conversation with my father.
Talk with medical care professionals who regularly visit different facilities. Note the different levels of care they see in their rounds. Calling home health agencies and talking with their nurses and therapists will give you honest, objective feedback.
And, as you make your own mental notes of sites considered, I have found the U.S. Health and Human Services website for home care facility comparisons to be a valuable resource. You should, too.
Conclusion
My own experience choosing a nursing home for my father taught me that success comes from balancing detailed research with emotional awareness. The best decisions blend quality metrics, staff observations, and—importantly—your loved one’s priorities. Medicare ratings and facility features certainly count; staff/resident interactions are equally revealing.
Taking time to recognize our emotions while systematically evaluating facilities creates better outcomes. The journey itself must be guided by a steadfast dedication to ensuring loved ones get the care they deserve. Your instincts matter—ask questions, and remember that your choice is a reflection of your commitment to your special loved one.
About the Author
Dr. Christopher Zambakari is the owner and operator of three Arizona-based assisted living care homes – Desert Haven Home Care in Phoenix, Apollo Residential Assisted Living in Glendale, and Villa Fiore Assisted Living in Prescott Valley, Arizona. He provides direction and oversight to a team of licensed medical and caregiving professionals to ensure the highest levels of customized care, service and advocacy at each of his facilities. Zambakari is founder and CEO of The Zambakari Advisory, an international consultancy in the areas of strategic intelligence, program design and transitional processes. He is a Hartley B. and Ruth B. Barker Endowed Rotary Peace Fellow, and the assistant editor of the Bulletin of The Sudans Studies Association.
Comments